The Diary of Cedric Diggory: 7th Year
by Lothlome
Summary: Cedric discovers the joys of the Prefect's bathroom, and battles against the twins as he tries to hook up with Harry Potter. He just hope his dad can handle it.CDHP.SLASH.


**A/N: The Harry Potter Universe and its characters belong soley to JKR.**

**This fic was actually inspired by the Cedric/Harry icon series done by Laureltx at the Prefect's Bathroom. She was one of the first people to bring to my attention how much innuendo was going on in the fourth HP movie. I really suggest you visit her sight seeing as it is amazingly hilarious. That being said, Happy Reading!Lothlome**

Entry 1:

Ah…a new year, a new fantabulous diary for Cedric Diggory to write his most private of thoughts in. Many things have changed since my sixth year. For example, I have learned that I am a huge flamer. It was a new discovery actually, I found out last week when Dad invited some of his friends and their families over for dinner. One of my Dad's co-workers came over and brought his oh so delectable son, Mark. We ended up snogging in the linen closet. I've decided not to tell Dad about my newly discovered sexuality seeing as he is a major homophobe.

Entry 2:

Score! Dad just told me we've got tickets to the World Cup and we're going to be sitting right next to the Weasleys. Double score (literally)! I've heard those twins are absolutely shagtastic. Am v. excited about upcoming trip.

Entry 3:

Met up with the Weasleys today to travel to the World Cup. Saw the twins, they let their hair grow. I have to say it looks fantastic, almost as good as mine. The two girls in the party were totally swooning over my hotness. Am v. impressed with my acting job of pretending that I cared. Dad will be happy. I have to admit though; I was more attracted to the brunette that was traveling with them, who is apparently Harry Potter. Not to toot my own horn, but I have impeccable taste. I made sure to turn on the charm and I think I made some progress. He looked very happy when I helped him up after he fell off the Portkey. I gave him my patented Cedric Diggory Smile of Hotness™ before I left. He is soo in love with me.

Entry 4:

Went to World Cup, got to sit next to Harry. WHOOTNESS! Got to be his knight in shining armor and save his hat from blowing away in the wind. Go me! I think he liked my green eyeliner seeing as how he stared at me all night. I was going to ask him if he wanted to meet up later, but those stupid Weasley twins carried him off before I could do anything. Starting to think they suck. Buggers.

Entry 5:

Atmosphere of World Cup ruined by pimps in KKK hats, and the Dark Mark. Starting to think You-Know-Who had a man fetish, if homoerotic symbol of doom is any indication. Had no idea how appearance of Voldy's followers will effect Harry's interest in shagging me.

Entry 6:

At school, learned there is a Triwizard tournament this year. Going to enter to impress Harry with my manliness. Two other schools are staying at Hogwarts while the Tournament goes on. The Drag queens of Beauxbatons and the Durmstrang Pimps. Found out Viktor Krum goes to Durmstrang. Finding Karkaroff's obsession with Krum to be a little more than disturbing.

Entry 7:

Entered my name in the GoF. Made sure to do it when Harry was there. He seemed impressed, so did his friend Ron. Hoping he will talk me up to Harry. Unfortunately Harry stopped paying attention to me once the bloody Weasley twins showed up. Am really starting to dislike them.

Entry 8:

I am in the Triwizard tournament! Whoot! Strangely enough so is Harry. Am v. excited, maybe he'll go for the whole "Champions Always Shag Before a Challenge" ruse. Just have to convince Krum and Fleur to go along with it. Shouldn't be too difficult.

Entry 9:

Stupid friends made Pro-Cedric/Anti-Harry buttons. Harry will never shag me now. Must find way to either destroy buttons or kill friends. Am emo. Going to take a bath to make myself feel better.

Entry 10:

  
Bath didn't work. I suspect it would be more fun if Harry was there. Still emo.

Entry 11:

Squee! Think there may be a chance with Harry after all. He warned me about the dragons in the first task. He cares about me! Double squee. Must find a way to show him my appreciation. Must start plotting. Wonder if Harry likes pervvy baths. Should probably think about how I am going to defeat my dragon.

Entry 12:

Whoo! Survived first task, so did Harry. Am v. happy with my performance. Am sure Harry will hear all about my heroics from gushing fangirls at Gryffindor after party. Was going to congratulate Harry on a job well done when bleeding twins carried him off again. Have decided to spread rumor that they suck in bed. That will teach them for man-napping my jailbait.

Entry 13:

Yule Ball coming up. Wanted to ask Harry, but afraid word'll get back to Dad. Have convinced random Ravenclaw fangirl, Cho Chang to go as my beard.

Entry 14:

Heard rumor that Harry tried to push Cho down Owlery stairs today. Am very happy to hear this. Harry must be insanely jealous. Will find way to make it up to him. In other news, twins pissed at me for spreading rumor. Have decided I win at life.

Entry 15:

Met up with Harry today to give him hint about clue in golden egg. Told him to take egg to Prefect's bathroom and mull things over in a nice hot bath. Used significant looks to convey secret message that I would be joining him. Don't think he fully understood. Oh well, guess I will just surprise him.

Entry 16:

Had pervvy bath with Harry. Meeting him again tonight. Am very pleased with myself. Harry Potter? Yeah, I so hit that…cannot wait to rub it in the twins' faces.

Entry 17:

Second Task- we all survived. Had to save my beard from imminent doom. Harry the Heroic™ saved his friend and Fleur's mini prostitute. Am v. proud of him. We are celebrating our victory tonight in prefect's bathroom. Would have invited Krum, but afraid Karkaroff might eat me.

Entry 18:

Going to see Dad tomorrow. Planning on telling him about me and Harry. Hope he takes the news well. Third task tomorrow. We have to run to the center of a giant maze. Wonder if I can meet up with Harry somewhere.

Entry 19:

In maze. V. dark and misty. Dad was cool with the whole Harry thing. Fleur got attacked and Krum tried to kill me. Apparently he is jealous of my love with Harry. Stupid Bulgarian. Met up with Harry and he saved me from being eaten by the maze. Yay Heroic Harry™. Have decided to share Triwizard Cup.

Entry 20:

Apparently Cup was Portkey and now we're in some creepy graveyard. Harry has MASSIVE headache. Some creepy shot guy carrying a fetus came at me with his wand. Fetus told him to kill me. Will keep you posted.

Entry 21:

Was killed. Not too happy about that. Voldy was reborn and DDR'd on my face. That bitch! He tried to rape Harry, but me and his parents came back as spirits and saved him. Told Harry to take my body back to my dad and that he could have my eyeliner. Forgot to tell him where I kept the special bubble bath. Hope he doesn't angst to much about my being dead. Will miss my little jailbait. tear

Cedric


End file.
